Healthy Intimacy

Healthy intimacy is similar to the six dimensions of wellness and involves several dimensions to make it a complete entity. There are actually four types of intimacy, which are: physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual. Intimacy itself is a specific level of closeness between people, especially those focused on building constructive and loving relationships. Learn how to nourish these four types of intimacies, so that you may achieve a higher level of intimate bonding.

Well, like most things in life that are worth achieving, it takes a great deal of self-discipline and dedication. However, the first step towards healthy intimacy starts with you. One must be willing to learn, understand and implement the four dimensions of intimacy before setting expectations for their partner.

Achieving healthy intimate relationships requires all parties being in sync with one another like gears in a machine. When one gear begins to turn the other gears begin to react in harmony. However, if one of the gears is broken or removed, the machine will not function properly. Therefore, it is important to know how to fix and replace gears that need to be repaired in our relationships.

Healthy intimacy involves trust, respect and honesty. It eliminates any imbalance of power and serves to strengthen established bonds. Getting familiar with the four types of intimacy can help you achieve the desired results of a healthy relationship.

Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is oftentimes associated with the act of having sex. While sexual activity does play a role in healthy intimacy, it is not the only area of physical intimacy that needs attention.

The simple acts of just holding hands or hugging are often over-looked as important elements of physical intimacy. In fact, sensual touching, such as hugging a significant other, can help reduce stress by releasing hormones that make us feel good.

On the contrary, a lack of sensual touching may cause insecurities and feelings of loneliness, which can reduce the existing sexual passions in a relationship. Additionally, sensual touch is crucial to the regulation of important hormones, such as oxytocin, cortisol and norepinephrine. These types of hormones are important for healthy muscle growth, stress regulation and arousal management.

Furthermore, studies have shown that sensual touch helps promote better sleep and can improve immune functions. So, choose the be the gear that initializes the hand grabbing, the cuddling, the massaging, the kissing and finally, the great sex.

Emotional Intimacy

There was once a tv show called ‘Cheers’ that had a theme song that went like this,”sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name” Now why would anyone want to go to a place where everybody knows their name?

The answer is due to the emotional intimacy of that place. People feel good when others actually acknowledge their existence and listen to what they have to say. They feel valued and secure in that place. This is the same feeling most of us are longing to acquire in relationships, which is called emotional intimacy.

Emotional intimacy relates to the close and secure connections we have with one another. Some of these connections are superficial, while others feel deeply rooted within the soul. Nevertheless, emotional intimacy is of the upmost importance to achieving healthy intimacy. Emotional intimacy involves a sincere effort in getting to know each other deeply. It involves understanding how your partner thinks, what makes them smile, what makes them sad, and what motivates them.

For this to happen there has to be a genuine concern for the other person and a sincere desire to be available if they need you. Additionally, making time for each other is a true sign of emotional intimacy because it showcases the presence of a true ally. Having an ally that will listen without casting judgement strengthens the bond between people and establishes a safe place to express and share feelings with one another.

On the other hand, it may be wise to also be aware of the signs that indicate there is a lack of emotional intimacy in your relationship such as, not feeling seen or heard, feeling lonely in the relationship, being afraid to show vulnerability, or feeling the relationship is very superficial. If these signs are present in your relationship, then it may be time to take a step back and have a conversation with your partner to make sure you are both on the same page.

Intellectual Intimacy

Intellectual intimacy is very similar to emotional intimacy, but there is a slight difference. While emotional intimacy focuses on the secure connections we have with one another, intellectual intimacy concentrates on the closeness that develops from understanding one another.

Intellectual intimacy refers to the intellectual connections that form between people that share their innermost thoughts, feelings and ideas. Being able to constructively discuss topics without worry of being ridiculed or embarrassed leads to healthy communication.

Achieving intellectual intimacy requires intentional effort to mentally stimulate your partners thinking. Listed below are a few ways to develop intellectual intimacy:

• Talk about your morals and core values – listening to your partners morals and core values helps you understand what makes them tick.

• Play mentally stimulating games – board games like checkers or chess allows partners to personally engage with one another versus playing games over the internet.

• Set specific goals together – setting goals to accomplish as a team helps build trust and dependability.

• Practice active listening more often – this is done by listening more and talking less. Listen to understand and reframe from giving your own opinion unless asked to do so.

In a nutshell, intellectual intimacy takes practice, a lot of practice. It involves being creative and selfless. It can mean breaking old selfish habits and forming habits that involve a teammate. If practiced often, intellectual intimacy can be beneficial by improving physical and emotional connections, which lead to higher levels of healthy intimate relationships.

Spiritual Intimacy

Last, but not least, is spiritual intimacy. This type of intimacy allows partners to share what they believe is their purpose in life. It defines the motivating factors that drive their passions for life and helps us understand that we grow in different ways.

Spiritual intimacy is also a time of humility. It is where we accept the honor of our existence and recognize that we are merely attributes of a broader creation.

Spiritual intimacy is manifested and developed through core value representation. This is where one truly learns the characters of themselves and their significant other. It helps establish healthy boundaries in relationships and reinforces the meaning of healthy intimacy. Here are a few ways to begin a journey towards spiritual intimacy:

• Attend a mutually agreed upon religious establishment – this will help you connect your beliefs, faiths and morals.

• Take nature walks together – taking time to observe nature and the world can humble us and expose our vulnerabilities.

• Practice meditation and exercise together – doing things together like yoga or getting fit are good ways to strengthen the inner core of relationships.

Begin your journey towards a healthy relationship by walking a path that leads to healthy intimacy.